For about two months now, I've been conversing with a gentleman that I met on the Internet. This isn't new to me. In fact, since 1997, most of the men I've dated--I even married one of them--I met on the Internet. I've loved them all, actually. But this...this is a story about falling in like, and why that's the safest approach, in my opinion.
When I married my Internet boyfriend back in '98, we were somewhat of a phenomenon. Internet dating was gaining some momentum, but there were still more nay-sayers than yea-sayers. We were interviewed for a story about Internet dating, actually. You can even read it here. Abe Lincoln's Beard, it's droll.
Anyway, one of the things I used to cite as an important advantage to online dating is that you lack the pressure of sex. Well, sure, there's much innuendo and perhaps a bit of "cybering" (as we used to call it), but really, there is a tangible absence of that feeling you get when you meet someone face-to-face for the first time. Through words, you convey your heart and your soul, never once considering that he might just be staring at your cleavage. And from that point and to the time where you actually meet in person, you're freed from the chains of body language and "Will he respect me in the morning?"
And that's the downside, actually. I know it now.
Because we are intrinsically designed toward chemistry. And falling for someone's mind without falling for their body creates a dichotomy that cannot ever be trumped.
Biological changes that occur when we are attracted to someone physically are essential to interpersonal relations (read: Sexual Intercourse). And when you remove that factor, you're messing with the DNA of relationships.
And without a doubt, I'm falling for this man's mind. He is simply brilliant and that cannot be ignored. But I know that it could end there. That certain something could be missing once I meet him in the real world.
Yet, I like the cut of his jib.
And without a doubt, I'm falling for this man's mind. He is simply brilliant and that cannot be ignored. But I know that it could end there. That certain something could be missing once I meet him in the real world.
Yet, I like the cut of his jib.
So, I'm falling in like. I'm staying that way until I've known this person, face-to-face, for at least three months (a rule I've always sworn to follow but usually stray from because of those aforementioned biological changes that seem to set fire to my decision-making skills).
Or unless I fall out of like.
See you soon,
Beth
